‘Broken Note’ by Andrew Bradford

The first time we made love, she told me I had the perfect skin for tattooing.

When we arrived, the man said, shaking his head, it was just glass and smoke…

I loved her smile. Her smile is what I first fell in love with.

Truck was traveling too fast and the driver acts intoxicated…

That trip to Naples, it just made it so clear; knew we’d be in love forever.

Anyone you want to call? Anything we can do for you?…

She told me she was pregnant. God, I have never been that happy in my life!

Single father. Never though that would be me. Never expected my life to turn out like this…

We never got around to actually marrying. Her parents, my parents, were not wild when they found out.

I just need to lay here a few more hours. I just need to try and understand what can never be understood…

Got that nice nesting feeling today. Got everything a man could need. Got it all.

Empty inside. Want to disappear…

Pretty sure I’m the most blessed guy in the world! And it’s all because of her.

I’ll never love anyone again. Why take a chance on something that never works out?…

Look at her! Never really imagined I’d have a child. But there she is: my daughter. I’m excited and at the same time I’m scared to death.

Girls need a mother, don’t they? How can I possibly be a mother and a father when I’m not even sure I know what it means to be a dad? My God, my God, I’m gonna screw it all up. I know I will…

People tell me I’ve never seemed happier. And I almost want to scream, “I have it all. I have it all!

I wake up in the middle of the night and want to scream my fucking lungs out. I feel like the world has exploded and the fragments landed on me…

I’ve heard the word love used to recklessly; heard people say it just so they can say they said it.

Keep wishing I could say it again. Just want to stay here in the dark and disappear. Stay long enough maybe it’ll all change…

Sometimes we come to realize that what was once the center of our lives is now the center of a hole that has opened within our souls. And when we reach that point, we have to try and fill that space with something else. With someone else. With a balm for the wound we can never forget or fully overcome.

This story is for Sandy. Wherever she is and in whatever place her spirit now exists, I know she is smiling. She was always smiling. 

Copyright 2015 by Andrew Bradford. All rights belong to the author and material may not be copied without the author’s express permission.

 

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